What Women Can Learn from Princesses

Who doesn't remember  being spoon-fed growing up on the tales of Disney princesses?  They were beautiful and pure young women, often facing tough life circumstances.  Yet, there was always love in their lives (sometimes in the form of animals or talking teacups!) and waiting for them was a gallant Prince to save them from whatever circumstances they faced.

Often, the Princess genre is geared towards girls and young women.  I think grown women--especially those who are waiting for "true love's kiss"--have a lot to learn from Princesses, although not necessarily the Disney variety.  Let me expound. . .

What makes a woman a Princess?  What are the qualities of a Princess that we can emulate?

1. She is a Princess simply because she is a daughter of the King.  Full stop.  She is born a Princess.  Yes, she has to be raised in the lifestyle of a Princess and be taught the mindset of a Princess, but even if she was abducted and raised outside of the castle walls, she would still be a Princess of the blood.  In the old European courts of France, royalty were often ranked and distinguished by whether or not they were Princesses du sang (of the blood) or de la marriage (by marriage).  If you are of the royal blood, you will always be a Princess.

2. She has full confidence in her father, the King.  She trusts that he " has plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope" (Jet 29:11).  He is aware of the desires and longings of his daughter's heart.  And she knows that she can trust him with those longings and he will bring them to fruition in his own timing.

3. Having been raised by a King, she knows how to recognize the characteristics of a King in the men in her life.  She knows how to encourage a man and not bring him down.  She knows that her words are powerful and she never uses them as weapons to emasculate a man.  She "does him good and not evil, all the days of her life" (Prov 31:12).

4. A Princess knows when to submit to the authority figures in King's court.  She understands protocol and that although she may technically outrank someone by virtue of her being "of the blood," she knows that "without consultation, plans are frustrated.  But with many counselors, they succeed."  Like Esther, on her journey to becoming Queen, she submits to the instruction of a "Hegai" in her life (Esther 2:15).

5. Although a Princess has access to the finest clothing, jewels, makeup, etc, she knows that those qualities don't give her royal stature.  She knows that her "adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God: (1 Peter 3-4).

You Don't Have to "Make it Happen"

For years, I lived under subjection to the lie that my singleness was my responsibility.  If I wasn't happy being single, then I needed to do something about it.  I had to make love happen. I had to make a relationship happen. It involved me being a very frustrated single throughout my 20s.

Over the past several years, which coincide with my conversation, God lead me to books and blogs that challenged my previous thoughts about love and relationships.  For the first time I believed and accepted that:

• God is capable of writing my love story--my life story, actually.
• God knows the end from the beginning anyway.
• I don't have to compete or orchestrate or "do" anything.

This notion of doing or pursuing is an inherently masculine trait. All women struggle with this especially since the first woman, Eve, took the initiative and took the forbidden fruit from the evil one.  (Adam's passivity is still suffered by sons of Adam today, but that's for anothe blog post.)  In addition the feminist culture has taught women to be aggressive and create our own way.  In matters of the heart, we are encouraged to hunt and capture our prey.  Even if we don't ascribe to this totally aggressive approach to relationships with the opposite sex, we can still fall under the fear of not doing enough to market ourselves or capture a guy's interest.

As a daughter of the most High God, I don't have to compete.  He orders my steps.  My will is to rest in His will.  "Fiat mini..."  Let it be done to me according to His good pleasure.  What I am called to be is HOLY.  That is my task.  Full stop.  Holiness.  I should be striving for heaven and if God decides a husband will help me to get there, then He will place him on the path.  We will both be living with an eye towards heaven.  

So while I try to look my best or dress well or wear makeup or cultivate my mind, these are not to "catch a man."  These are the effects of living a balanced and ordered life.  What I desire is that a Godly man sees Christ in me and is drawn by that. If he happens to like the outer packaging that's great too.  So no more striving to be noticed. No more trying to be seen.  You will draw everything to yourself just by being yourself and trying to live a holy life.

Queen of Vocations

"As a single woman, I had no question that it was man's responsibility to do the wooing. This meant holding back my natural aggressiveness and trusting God to work in the heart of a man if marriage was in his plan for me. A man, on the other hand, has a different position.  He too must learn to hold back his "hunter" instinct, praying, watching and trusting God to show him what to do and when. When he is shown, he is to act, accepting the demands of his headship and the sacrifice that goes with it." Elisabeth Elliott

Oh, to meet such a man!  A prayerful man who hears from the Holy Spirit about me!  That is why I must pray.  I must go to battle on this man's behalf.  He may be weak or wounded by the culture. His vision may be tainted.  He may not "see" me. Or, he may see me and be afraid to approach me...I believe I have a secret weapon: Our Lady.  I'm invoking her as Queen of Vocations.  I've read so many stories where she guided people by the hand to one another.  Pietro Molla, husband of St. Gianna Molla, begged the Madonna to send him a saintly woman to be the mother of his future children.  Wow. Was his prayer not answered to the max?!?!  Two things strike me about his request: even though he was in his 40s when he started courting Gianna, he believed that he was called to a marriage vocation.  Also, he never stopped praying for that vocation.  Pietro was a shy, introvert and he probably would not have pursued Gianna if he gave into his tendencies. I believe it was his prayers that infused the situation with grace and lead to their overwhelmingly fruitful union.

So I also place my vocation--my future spouse--in the capable hands of Our Lady! I trust in her intercession.

Thoughts on Vocation

Photo Credit: Salt & Light TV

"What is a vocation?  It is a gift from God--it comes from God Himself!  Our concern then should be to know the will of God.  We should enter onto the path that God wills for us, not 'forcing the door' but when God wills and as God wills." St. Gianna Beretta Molla

I love this saint.  Can't get enough of St. Gianna.  She appeals to my feminine heart for so many reasons: she was a professional, wife and mother.  She believed in service and was very involved with Catholic Action for women and girls.  She loved fashion, culture and the arts.  According to her son, Pierluigi, she also liked to drive fast 😀.  She went to daily mass, loved God and lived her faith!  People who know her said she wasn't preachy--she simply lived what she believed.  In generosity, she made the choice to delay the definitive treatment for a benign tumor of her uterus to give life to her 4th child. She was a hero.  What drew me to her is that in my own vocational discernment, I read that she actually thought about being a missionary with her brother.  She prayed to Our Lady at Lourdes in faith and formally met her beloved Pietro on the feast of the Immaculate Conception. If that's not a grace from Our Lady, I don't know what is!

As I wait in faith for God to reveal His will for me, I beg Gianna's intercession as well as Our Lady of Lourdes. Give me the faith to be open to God's will, whatever it is.  Amen.

Let Your Will be Done

Oceans Will Part by Hillsong

If my heart has grown cold
There Your love will unfold
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
When I'm blind to my way
There Your Spirit will pray
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand


Oceans will part nations come
At the whisper of Your call
Hope will rise glory shown
In my life Your will be done


Present suffering may pass
Lord Your mercy will last
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
And my heart will find praise
I'll delight in Your way
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand