Advent: A Season for Singles

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I was doing really really well until today, the 4th Sunday of Advent.  Maybe it's because I've been so busy, and on the go that I didn't have much time to feel lonely this holiday season.  However, today after Mass, it just hit one out of nowhere and the weight of my loneliness crushed me.  I went home, took my church clothes off, put on some jammies then went to bed.  The tears started to well up inside, but they didn't fall.  Somehow I dozed off into a restless nap.

I felt angry, hurt, and then resigned--this is it.  This is how it's going to be.  This is my life.  I am alone.  I may always be alone.  Although I feel as if I'm doing my part (living out my faith, partaking of the Sacraments, supporting myself, giving to those in need when I can, mentally and emotionally preparing for marriage/motherhood, putting myself "out there" and making myself "findable") nothing seems to be happening.  The dream of marriage and family seem to be slipping away with every passing day.

I've been receiving Father Robert Barron's Advent reflections which are very poignant, honing in on the feelings of longing and even despair that can accompany a season of waiting.   Singles can really understand the Advent message of waiting and preparation.  Sometimes, we fall short on the hope of Advent as we don't know if our dreams will ever be realized.

However, remember that the difference between our season of waiting and Advent is that we know the outcome of all the long years of waiting that the Israelites endured.  The Messiah was indeed born!  So, we can wait with long faces, uncertain of what will happen during our time on Earth or we can wait expectantly knowing that our hope isn't in this world but in the next.  I know it's hard to look towards the hope of the next life, but we must.  Our value and hope isn't in our marital status or whether we become parents or not.  Our hope is in a Savior who was born 2000 years ago.

Receive

Holy Wisdom, God in Heaven
Here in human time
Humble Godhead bending low and
Touching bread and wine.

Faith is making plain the truth beneath the veil
Faith supplying where our feeble sense fail

To the Father, to the Son,
And to the Spirit be
Blessing, honour, glory, power,
Might, and majesty
It is God who we encounter,
It is God that we receive
From this altar we do believe


Happy Feast of the Immaculate Conception!

Tota pulchra es, Maria, et macula originalis non est in te.
Vestimentum tuum candidum quasi nix, et facies tua sicut sol.
Tota pulchra es, Maria,et macula originalis non est in te.
Tu gloria Jerusalem, tu laetitia Israel, tu honorificentia populi nostri.
Tota pulchra es, Maria.

NAS:Rosary + Single Life

October is dedicated to the Holy Rosary, so we wanted to honor Mary and reflect on her help during this time of singleness. How have you called on her intercession before? What is your relationship with our Blessed Mother like? If you don't know much about Mary or the Rosary, is there something keeping you from getting to know her?

This week, the topic at hand is the Rosary!  October is the month of the Rosary so we should all make a special effort to pray it daily this month.  I went to Father Apostoli's (EWTN) retreat this summer on the message of Our Lady of Fatima and one of the things Our Lady stressed to the 3 children was prayer and penance to make reparation for all the bad things going on in the world.  If that was Our Lady's message in 1917, I'm sure that message is more fervent in 2014 when war and violence, abortion, immodesty, pornography, etc are all rampant.  The Rosary is a powerful weapon in our arsenal.

As a convert, I was a little afraid that the Marian doctrines would be a stumbling block on the road to my conversion.  I already knew what the Church taught (since I went to Catholic school from K-12) so I knew what was coming about Our Lady: Perpetual virginity?  Her Assumption? Crowned Queen of Heaven and Earth?  Growing up Protestant, these just weren't things were focused on, let alone believed.  At most, Our Lady played a peripheral role in scripture and salvation history, right?  I knew I couldn't in good faith convert if I didn't really believe the doctrines in my heart.   I remembered thinking that I would just trust what I was learning and realize that I wouldn't necessarily understand everything but take it on faith. . .

During RCIA, I started praying the rosary.  But I initially resisted--isn't it just "vain repetition?"  I learned that it was a form of spoken and contemplative prayer on the life of Christ.  Some people say it's as if Our Lady is holding our hand while we reflect on the mysteries of Christ.  I purchased a rosary at the National Shrine in DC and began trying to pray it.  I won't lie--the first time, I fell asleep!  But I kept trying.  When I learned about 54-day novenas, I started praying those as well.  Soon I was in a pretty good routine of praying the rosary if I had a long train ride to work.

Shortly after my initiation into the Church, I spent a summer in Europe.  My faith was deepened by the time I spent in the old gothic churches where devotion to Our Lady is very strong.  I even visited the Miraculous Medal Shrine in Paris (my first pilgrimage) and started wearing a medal soon after that.  I like to say the medal was my "gateway devotion" to Our Lady because soon after that, I felt her gentle pull to develop a deeper relationship with her.  After 2 or 3 random people mentioned consecration to Our Lady, I completed it on the Feast of the Assumption the following year.

During this single journey, Our Lady has definitely been a comfort and confidant.  I often whine ask her to ask her Divine Son to grant this desire of my heart.  The Rosary is one tool that we have to draw closer to her and to Jesus.  There are days when I don't want to pray the Rosary, but I've never regretted it when I do.

Sifted Heart. . .Part Deux

Unfortunately, I got locked out of my old blog The Sifted Heart and all my attempts at account verification failed!  So I will be blogging at this address from now on :)